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Self-love affirmations

100 affirmations in 8 sets · Updated

Self-love affirmations are short first-person lines, such as “I’m allowed to be on my own side,” that you repeat to practice treating yourself with the patience and respect you’d give someone you care about. They work best when you can believe them today, so every line below is true now, or true as something you’re working on.

That matters more than it sounds. In one study, people with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating “I’m a lovable person” (Wood, Perunovic & Lee, 2009). So you won’t find “I am perfect” here. You’ll find affirmations for self-love, self-worth and self-concept, beauty affirmations for looking at yourself kindly, and lines for hard days. Read through, pick three to five that make you exhale a little, and use them for a week.

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Everyday self-love

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  1. I’m allowed to be on my own side.Being on your own side doesn’t mean thinking you’re always right. It means you stop working against yourself, and start asking what would actually help.
  2. I can treat myself the way I’d treat a good friend.
  3. I don’t have to earn kindness, including my own.
  4. I’m a work in progress, and that’s allowed.
  5. My needs matter as much as anyone else’s.
  6. I can like myself before everything is fixed.
  7. Looking after myself is part of the work, not a break from it.
  8. I’m learning to enjoy my own company.
  9. Small wins are worth being proud of.
  10. I’m allowed to change my mind as I learn more.
  11. The patience I give others, I can give myself.
  12. Today I’ll do one kind thing just for me.
  13. I’m worth the time it takes to look after myself.

Self-worth

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  1. My worth isn’t up for debate today.If “I am worthy” feels like a stretch, this one is easier to say. It doesn’t ask you to feel worthy, just to stop arguing the point for one day.
  2. I matter, even on days I don’t get much done.
  3. My worth doesn’t rise and fall with my productivity.
  4. I don’t need anyone’s approval to know I count.
  5. Mistakes are things I do, not things I am.Guilt says “I did something wrong,” which you can fix. Shame says “I am wrong,” which you can’t. This line keeps you on the fixable side.
  6. I’m more than my job, my grades or my last bad day.
  7. I deserve respect, including from myself.
  8. Other people’s opinions of me are information, not a verdict.
  9. I mattered before I achieved anything.
  10. Being liked by everyone was never the goal.
  11. I don’t have to be perfect to deserve kindness.
  12. Likes, followers and numbers on a screen don’t measure me.
  13. Comparing myself to others tells me nothing about my worth.

Looking at yourself kindly

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  1. I can look in the mirror and say something kind.Look yourself in the eye rather than at the part you’re about to criticize. If kind feels like too much, start with a neutral “Good morning” and build up.
  2. I’ve made someone smile before, with this same face.
  3. I’m allowed to like what I see, even a little.
  4. I can notice one thing I like about how I look today.
  5. My body isn’t a project to finish before I’m allowed to live.
  6. Beauty is one small part of who I am, not the whole of it.
  7. I’m allowed to dress for comfort and joy.
  8. How I look is far from the most interesting thing about me.
  9. I can let a photo of me exist without picking it apart.
  10. My reflection doesn’t get to decide my mood.
  11. I can thank my body for carrying me through today.
  12. I’m learning to see myself the way the people who love me do.
  13. Some days I won’t love how I look, and I can still be kind to myself.You don’t have to feel beautiful to treat yourself with respect. This line works on the days the mirror is hard.

Kinder self-talk

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  1. I’ll talk to myself like someone I want to see do well.
  2. When I notice my inner critic, I can answer it gently.
  3. Not every harsh thought about me is true.
  4. I can say “that was hard” instead of “I’m hopeless.”
  5. I’m allowed to make mistakes while I learn.
  6. I can be honest with myself without being cruel.
  7. Owning my part doesn’t mean punishing myself for it.
  8. A bad moment doesn’t make me a bad person.
  9. I wouldn’t speak to a friend that way, so I won’t speak to me that way.Say this when you catch yourself mid-insult. It’s a quick way to hear how harsh the old line really was.
  10. I can forgive myself and still do better next time.
  11. My inner voice is learning a kinder tone.
  12. When I slip, I can start again without a lecture.

On hard days

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  1. I can be gentle with myself today.A good first line for a day that starts badly. Try saying it before you check your phone.
  2. Doing less today doesn’t make me less.
  3. I’m allowed to struggle without it meaning something is wrong with me.
  4. Hard days are part of life, not proof I’m failing.
  5. I’ve gotten through days like this before.
  6. Feelings come and go, and this one will too.
  7. I can ask for help without apologizing for it.
  8. Getting through today is enough.
  9. I can rest without explaining myself.
  10. I don’t have to fix everything to be okay with me.
  11. Tomorrow I can try again. Tonight I can rest.
  12. Even on a day like this, I deserve my own kindness.

Boundaries and needs

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  1. I’m allowed to say no without a long explanation.If a bare “no” feels too blunt, “That doesn’t work for me” does the same job, kindly.
  2. My time and energy are worth protecting.
  3. I can disappoint someone and still be a good person.
  4. Asking for what I need is not asking for too much.
  5. I can leave places that make me feel small.
  6. Saying yes to myself sometimes means saying no to others.
  7. Keeping everyone happy at my own expense isn’t my job.
  8. People can be upset with me, and I can stay kind.
  9. My comfort counts, too.
  10. I’m allowed to take up space.Useful before a meeting, a family dinner or anywhere you tend to shrink.
  11. I get to choose who has my time.
  12. Rest is a need, not a reward.If you only rest once everything is done, you may never rest. This line gives you permission before the list is finished.

Self-concept: who I’m becoming

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  1. I’m becoming someone I’m proud of, one choice at a time.Self-concept is the picture you hold of who you are. Lines about who you’re becoming tend to land better than lines claiming you’re already there.
  2. I’m allowed to grow out of old labels.
  3. Who I was is part of my story, not my limit.
  4. I can be a beginner at something new.
  5. I’m someone who keeps promises to myself, starting small.
  6. I’m learning what I value and living a little closer to it.
  7. Each kind choice adds to who I am.
  8. In small ways today, I can act like the person I want to be.
  9. The story I tell about myself can change.
  10. I can learn things I don’t know yet.
  11. I can still surprise myself.
  12. Wanting more for my life is allowed.
  13. Small habits are how I become who I want to be.

At the end of the day

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  1. I did my best with what I had today.Your best changes from day to day. On a tired, sick or stressful day it’s smaller, and it still counts.
  2. I can let today be finished.
  3. One thing I did today, however small, makes me proud.
  4. I can forgive myself for what didn’t get done.
  5. Tonight I’ll rest like someone worth looking after.
  6. Today counted, even if it was ordinary.
  7. I showed up for myself in at least one way.
  8. I can put down today’s worries until morning.
  9. My body did a lot for me today, and I’m grateful.
  10. Whatever happened today, I’m still on my own team.
  11. I don’t have to earn a good night’s sleep.
  12. Tomorrow is another chance to be kind to myself.

How to use them

  1. Pick three to five lines, not a hundred. Choose the ones that feel true and a little hopeful. If a line makes you cringe, skip it or soften it.
  2. Give them a fixed spot in your day. Tie them to something you already do: “After I brush my teeth, I’ll say my three lines.”
  3. Say them out loud, slowly. A whisper counts. Saying a sentence takes long enough that you actually hear it.
  4. Try the mirror, gently. Start with the section on looking at yourself kindly. If a kind line feels like too much, begin with “Good morning” and build from there.
  5. Back each line with one small act. “My needs matter as much as anyone else’s” means more after you’ve eaten lunch, gone to bed on time or said one honest no. The line is the reminder; the action is what makes it true.
  6. Swap them after a week or two, when they start to feel stale.

If “I” feels awkward, try saying a line to yourself as “you”: “You’re allowed to be on your own side.” Many people find it easier to be kind in the voice they’d use with a friend.

Why believable lines work better

Self-love isn’t about convincing yourself you’re flawless. The study above suggests that a line which clashes with what you believe about yourself can make the gap more obvious. A line you can accept, like “I’m learning to like the person I spend the most time with,” leaves your mind nothing to argue with.

What many people mean by self-love is close to what psychologists call self-compassion: being kind to yourself when you struggle, remembering that struggling is part of being human, and noticing painful feelings without drowning in them or pushing them away (Neff, 2003). That’s a good test for any line on this page: does it treat you like someone worth helping?

It won’t make you lazy, either. In one set of experiments, people encouraged to be self-compassionate after failing a test spent longer studying for a retest than people given a self-esteem boost (Breines & Chen, 2012). Kindness keeps you trying.

If a line feels like too much

Keep the direction and make the claim smaller:

  • Instead of “I love myself,” try “I’m learning to be on my own side.”
  • Instead of “I am beautiful,” try “I can notice one thing I like about how I look today.”
  • Instead of “I am worthy,” try “My worth isn’t up for debate today.”
  • Instead of “I never doubt myself,” try “I can doubt myself and still be kind to myself.”

If your inner voice is harsh most of the time, our guide to stopping negative self-talk shows how to catch it and rewrite it. For lines about the people in your life, see love affirmations, and for the moments you need to step up, affirmations for confidence.

When it’s more than a rough patch

Affirmations aren’t a replacement for care. If you’ve felt low for weeks, or thoughts about your body or your worth are taking over your days, a doctor or therapist can help. If you’re struggling or thinking about harming yourself, you can call or text 988 in the US (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.

Loops to play

Questions

What is a good self-love affirmation?

One you can say and believe today, such as “I’m allowed to be on my own side” or “I can treat myself the way I’d treat a good friend.” If a line feels false, make it smaller until you’d sign your name under it.

How do I start practicing self-love?

Start small and concrete. Say two or three kind lines each morning, meet one basic need on purpose each day (a real lunch, an early night, a walk), and when you catch your inner critic, answer it the way you’d answer a friend.

What’s the difference between self-love and self-worth?

Self-worth is your sense that you matter; self-love is how you treat yourself because of it. The self-worth section above works on the first, and most of the other sections are about the second.

What are self-concept affirmations?

Self-concept affirmations are lines about who you are and who you’re becoming, like “I’m someone who keeps promises to myself, starting small.” Lines about becoming are usually easier to believe than lines that claim you’ve already arrived.

Do mirror affirmations work?

There’s little research on mirrors specifically, so treat it as something to try rather than a proven method. Many people find a kind line said to their own face awkward at first and easier with practice; if it’s too much, start with “Good morning.”

Is self-love selfish?

No. Meeting your own needs, resting and setting fair boundaries usually leaves you with more patience for other people, not less. None of the lines here ask you to stop caring about anyone else.

Sources

  1. Positive self-statements: Power for some, peril for others · Psychological Science, 2009
  2. Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself · Self and Identity, 2003
  3. Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation · Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2012