Play it in the last few minutes before you talk, somewhere quiet if you can. It takes two or three minutes. Decide on the one thing you most need them to understand, and hold onto it while the loop plays.
Read by Ivy
01A hard conversation is minutes away, and my body knows it matters. The tension makes sense.
02There’s one thing I most need them to hear. Saying it clearly and kindly is enough.
03A gentle first sentence makes the rest easier for both of us.
04I describe what happened and how it felt, not what kind of person they are.
05Listening to understand, not just to reply. Their side might surprise me.
06Kind and clear can live in the same sentence.
07When my voice rises or my chest tightens, I slow down and breathe before I go on.
08One talk won’t settle everything. We can pause and pick it up again another day.
09Their reaction is theirs. I can stay steady.
10One slow breath, and I begin. Saying the hard thing calmly is a way of caring.
In the app, hear your own lines in a realistic voice, or your own, and change any of them. Get early access
Why it’s written this way
Hard conversations go wrong most often in the first minute and in the heated middle. This loop prepares you for both. It starts by accepting the tension, then narrows your goal to one thing you most need them to hear, so you don’t walk in trying to win every point.
The next notes are about how you speak: begin gently, describe what happened and how it affected you rather than labeling the other person, and listen to understand. These are simple habits that help many conversations stay calmer, and each gets a note so it’s easy to recall when nerves are high.
The later notes prepare you for the hard part: rising feelings, things that don’t get solved, and the other person being upset. None of them promises the talk will go well, because you can only control your half. The loop ends on starting, and on the reason the conversation is worth having at all.